Curvy women at the beach

Your Thoughts Inform Your Experience

The things we think about have a lot of power, they inform our experience of life, and our emotions.

Mid-2014 I began working on my own self-talk, I began by accepting certain facts about myself – for instance I’ve weighed more than 200 pounds for my entire adult life. For most of those years I told myself that I could have things, relationships, happiness, etc. when I was thin. Please imagine for a moment how that thought process informed my life. Just think about spending 26 years in a self-made prison of “you must be thin”.

I have very few photos of myself from most of my life because of my concerns about my size. I shrouded myself in baggy clothing and always felt like I needed to apologize for my looks. I’m certain my introversion and anxiety grew worse because of the unfounded belief that others were judging me the same way I was judging myself.

So, I chose to stop judging myself based on something that is likely not going to change. That meant no longer looking in the mirror and calling myself fat in a derogatory way, and to stop using the phrase “when I lose weight” as a stopper for my hopes and dreams. It meant focusing on how I feel in the moment, and how I actually look and not comparing myself to current beauty standards.

Let’s be real, current beauty standards aren’t real – they’re photoshopped, starved, over worked, and unreal. Even movie stars don’t look like movie stars when they haven’t had a crew of people to put them together for an awards show or photoshoot.

I also had to stop putting anyone else’s opinions or standards before my own. I had to thoughtfully stop myself in the act of allowing others judgements (real or perceived) to affect me. A by product of these thoughts were to stop myself from judging other women against those false standards as well.

Changing how you think is work. You have to practice self-awareness to catch yourself in the act of thinking the things you want to change, and then choose to replace that thought with a positive one instead. It’s work, but it’s been worth it. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin, I spend a lot less time worrying about others opinions, and I am able to feel more positive because I don’t have those negative thoughts cluttering my psyche.

Share This Post

Share on twitter
Share on reddit
Share on pinterest
Share on facebook
Share on vk
Share on tumblr
Share on email